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Sangheili
Elites are huge creatures, and are the most powerful in this universe. They kill the stupid Brutes, and they kill evil Jackals and save the humble Grunts. They nearly killed the Prophets in the past, and would have made the world a better place. Somehow, this created the Covenant. Biology All Elites are related to Grunts, because the last Elites interbred with Grunts. But only special Elites may have the power of Gruntiness! What they look like Like mentioned before, the Elites have four mouth prongs, which makes it hard to eat stuff. Freakin' splitfaces. Their stomaches rumbling, the Elites are always pissed off. So pissed off, in fact, that they barely know who to side with. But, because that previous bit was nothing but filler, meant for you, the stupid reader, to keep reading, this completely unnecessary section isn't over yet. Anyway, Elites are lizards without tails, and for some reason, their knees bend the wrong way. They're really tall, and are pretty strong. They're gray, and at least one has been observed sans genitalia. What really bugs some people is that they have hooves, so instead of lizards, they look like creepy squid-horse monsters. They also seem to have no, um... parts, so I find it hard how the Elites, uh... reproduce. Culture Despite their pissed off attitude and zealous religious violence, Elites are pretty laid back. They have been observed on Earth beaches, usually attempting to drink out of straws, all the while telling the Grunts to fetch them sandwiches. However, due to the lack of a a chin, they get even more pissed off, and bite the Grunts. ]] Sometimes, an Elite will feel the urge to procreate, and is stricken with the hard truth once they find out that they have no can't find their boy/girl parts, mainly because they are hermaphrodites and have BOTH. Yet, even with this... odity, they have managed to make billions of little baby Elites throughout the years (explained briefly in the next section). When one Elite named Joey 'Needstopee was asked "How do you make babies?" he just burst out laughing and continued walking down the street, only to be killed in a drive-by shooting. Elites are also known to dance around, carrying rainbow swords. Apparently, owning one gives you right to shoot anyone... How There Are So Many Through extensive investigation it has been found that Elites reproduce without easily observable parts, as their parts run through their anus, similar to how human males "parts" run through their urethra. Apparantly, when Elites are "maried", they take turns being male and female. As for the process, the "female" poops out the eggs, and the "male" then takes a crap on them, resulting in baby Elites. However, due to the dirty nature of their birth, many of the eggs die, and only the "good" ones live (if any). Known Elites *Arbiter *Ratsass 'Vacuumee *Zama 'Zappazee *Gonna 'Kilmee *Ime 'Mistertee *Pete the Friendly Elite *Osama Bin'Ladee *Crunchbite *Barack Obamee *Iwillnot Suckura *Notanoobee *Homee *Cannot 'Pronouncee *Mamas'ee Mamasa *Damu Icantsee *Yo'Momee *Huka 'Loogee *Baker Ofcookiee *Joe...ee *Alah Kazamee *Indy Jonesee *Crita 'Seizmee *Hetor VonZumee *Honk Honk *The Guy From The Geico Commercials *Your Neighbor *Youra Bigfonee *Ima Dumbee *chuck.. Murphy the Grunts best friend *Babyo' Rihannee *Holde Firee Elite Ranks Bungie Chuck Norris Freak Elite Satellite dishes Assasin Aristocrat Sith Lord Imperial Admiral Supreme Commander Zealot Ultra Honor Guard Ossoona Coco-pops Ranger Stealth Major dodo Minor dodo